wow, this is crazy.
i completely forgot about this. a year and a month later i find it , aha .
we'll might as well start actually writing in this right ?
we'll let's start with someone who means a hell of a load to me. name ; gavin .
he's not my boyfriend, .. yet.
see i've known him for like.. a year and 6 months pretty much , and we've had things going on, since we met each other.
i'm in love with him. weirdly enough, it's the only thing i've ever been absolutly postive with .
he stays up with me, till 7 am.
and won't always tell me what i want to hear. he'll tell me the truth.
which is really hard to find in guys these days .
i've gone out with him already like 2 times,
but we pretty much are dating, without declaring we are?
you know?
so, since we're on the topic of love.
here's some other things.
there's this other guy josh , who is ridiculously inlove with me.
today, because i want 2009 to be differant, and i don't want to lead people on like i always do, i told him i didn't like him.
well one of my best friends told him, and he started getting all emo about it, and stuff,
he told me he wished he never met me and stuff, it really fucking hurt. like alot .
then we also have my ex; graham.
i went out with him from august to october.
so like 2 months pretty much?
he was everything i could imagine. he was the only guy i actually cared about besides gavin.
i was an idiot with graham thought; i didn't look past the pretty words.
he pretty much just wanted me in his pants, and all i wanted was his love.
he was one of the reason i started smoking weed, well he was the one who did it with me first, and i started it liking it, and blah blah blah ..
but, anyways,
so we were best friends after we dated, we told each other it wouldn't change anything.
but, it did. not for me, but for him.
he blocked me, and told people he hoped he never talked to me again.
and honestly, i'm starting to realize he didn't help anything in my life.
i don't regret dating him. i just regret spending my time on him.
he's a druggie, who thinks his life is so hard.
when really, he has a life i wish i had.
also,
i'm having a new years party tomorow, right?
and gavin said he couldn't come.
which completely got to me, cause without him. what's the point ?
but, i got over it.
i'll see him as soon as the buses start up again.
so, my tomorrow plan is.
a really good friend of mine layla's coming over early to come get the food and everything .
then guests should arrive ,later on.
i'm not as excited as i was, cause as i said gavin can't come.
i'm just gunna get baked, and wasted,
i'm sure that'll get my mind of things.
anyways, 3 in the morning.
god, i need some sleep.
later loves, ♥
20.11.07
Settling things.
Tuesday, November 20th 2007.
Well, woke up by that stupid alarm clock again. I mean, sometimes i just my mom would shut it off and let me sleep but noo, I have to get up and go to school. :/
At the same time, when I woke up, I wasnt feeling well. I mean, heachache, stomach, and like everything. I tell my mom about my unfortune event, and she spazzs telling me to go to school or something something. I wasnt exactly listening, I came back with " when i say im sick, it doesnt mean i want to stay home goshh mom.! " in my i-like-school-and-wanna-be-smart kinda tone. We run late, because I woke up late, well thats what my mom says. Anyways, I take the bus, and suprisigly Emily's on the bus. So we chat a litle and then arrive at school.
School was okay, I guess. Tried to pull myself together for secound term (due to almost failing secound term ). Yet that didnt work very well, I mean first of all - my finger, it was all gross, i dont know how to explain it, but its all big and gross. mAnyways this consisted in me not being able to write for the .. first 4 periods .SMT (; stupid math teacher) wasn't pleased with e not writing, and completely went insane on me. "Theres always something wrong isnt there?" she said, with her your-a-stupid-idiot-who-doesnt-know-math-and-always-fails voice. "Madame, there isnt always something wrong. You dont pay attention to me half the time" . I think I responded very smarty, and it was stuck up but i mean, that teacher deserves it. Shes such a bitch to me.
K well, after math came lunch time.
Lunch times usally the funnest part of the day, and today, it was defintly true. It started of, with me, Denver, Mitch, Miriam & Jessica going to subway. Soon to join us was - Dana, Amy,Subhah and Noehm. Mom gave me & 7:50$ to buy lunch, so i grab the money and i look in my jean pocket and i realize i have 5 $ dollars. So I buy a foot long, and me and miriam, and everyone else eat it.(Mainly me and Miriam, and Jessica). Anyways, after that We decided to go to the "junkyard". We had this big adventure there too, crawling into peoples backyards, opening gates, i mean that whole part of lunch could've came out of a movie.
After school, There wasnt much going on. Me and Denver decided to go to Mitchs house for a bit. And as usal, all he did was play those damn drums. I mean there cool and all, but when your not feeling well and have like this major heachache you could do without them. We left at around 4: 21 or soemthing ( at least thats the time it was when Mitch told us). And now, this leads me to now. Just sitting at my computer, stomach growling, trying to block oput the noices of the tv, that my brothers watching, while i try to listen to let it all out by relient k. As of now i am on the phone with Denver talking about well this,and the music shes listening to which to inform you, is knocking on heavens door.
Anyways there isnt much else to say.
So imma jet.
CHLOE
Well, woke up by that stupid alarm clock again. I mean, sometimes i just my mom would shut it off and let me sleep but noo, I have to get up and go to school. :/
At the same time, when I woke up, I wasnt feeling well. I mean, heachache, stomach, and like everything. I tell my mom about my unfortune event, and she spazzs telling me to go to school or something something. I wasnt exactly listening, I came back with " when i say im sick, it doesnt mean i want to stay home goshh mom.! " in my i-like-school-and-wanna-be-smart kinda tone. We run late, because I woke up late, well thats what my mom says. Anyways, I take the bus, and suprisigly Emily's on the bus. So we chat a litle and then arrive at school.
School was okay, I guess. Tried to pull myself together for secound term (due to almost failing secound term ). Yet that didnt work very well, I mean first of all - my finger, it was all gross, i dont know how to explain it, but its all big and gross. mAnyways this consisted in me not being able to write for the .. first 4 periods .SMT (; stupid math teacher) wasn't pleased with e not writing, and completely went insane on me. "Theres always something wrong isnt there?" she said, with her your-a-stupid-idiot-who-doesnt-know-math-and-always-fails voice. "Madame, there isnt always something wrong. You dont pay attention to me half the time" . I think I responded very smarty, and it was stuck up but i mean, that teacher deserves it. Shes such a bitch to me.
K well, after math came lunch time.
Lunch times usally the funnest part of the day, and today, it was defintly true. It started of, with me, Denver, Mitch, Miriam & Jessica going to subway. Soon to join us was - Dana, Amy,Subhah and Noehm. Mom gave me & 7:50$ to buy lunch, so i grab the money and i look in my jean pocket and i realize i have 5 $ dollars. So I buy a foot long, and me and miriam, and everyone else eat it.(Mainly me and Miriam, and Jessica). Anyways, after that We decided to go to the "junkyard". We had this big adventure there too, crawling into peoples backyards, opening gates, i mean that whole part of lunch could've came out of a movie.
After school, There wasnt much going on. Me and Denver decided to go to Mitchs house for a bit. And as usal, all he did was play those damn drums. I mean there cool and all, but when your not feeling well and have like this major heachache you could do without them. We left at around 4: 21 or soemthing ( at least thats the time it was when Mitch told us). And now, this leads me to now. Just sitting at my computer, stomach growling, trying to block oput the noices of the tv, that my brothers watching, while i try to listen to let it all out by relient k. As of now i am on the phone with Denver talking about well this,and the music shes listening to which to inform you, is knocking on heavens door.
Anyways there isnt much else to say.
So imma jet.
CHLOE
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