if i could, then i would i'd go wherever you would go.

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven..

Days pass and there's only one image in my mind. That silly smile, and that perfect hair.That goofy little boy, who always knew everything. You was always being silly, and always knows how to make me laugh. You were everything I ever wanted. Everything I had ever dreamt of. I wanted you. I had you. I lost you. 3 easy steps. 3 easy words. I love you.There really strong words you know? I mean, there defintly the words you don't say unless you're sure you mean them. So, I love you. By that I mean. I am so postive about what I feel about you that It's not even funny. It's not a childhood crush anymore.This isn't just going to go away. I love you. Do you not understand that concept? I love being with you. I love you're silly ways, you're " Did you know facts", you're high on chocolate, you're sudden outbursts of laughter.I love every little thing about you. And, you're always on my mind. And, it hurts to realize , I'm never on yours.

Tell me what you want me to be, I'll be that. If that's what makes you happy.

i've been wrong, but now i'm right.

"I don't know" She tried to explain to him, heart attached to her sleeve with the strongest rope you could ever find.
"What do you mean you don't know? You either like me or you don't?" He sounded furious, with her confusion.
" I just don't know. I want to be with you, and because of that, I don't. It's a very complex emotion." She said, tears begining to form.
"You make absolutly no sence." He said, walking away from her.
There wasn't much else to say.
She was confused, Her heart filled with mixed emotions. She had been hurt by him before, and she wasn't ready for that whole procedure another time. She wasn't sure of anything right now.
Everything was so unclear.
I think the thing is, is that you've gotten so caught up in being alone that you're afraid of what might happen if you actually find someone else that can take you away from it.
In a way, it kind of reminds me of me and him.
Everything is so unclear, and up in the air. It makes no sence.

I shouldn't be your friend, yet I don't want anything else in the world.
I shouldn't text you, and act so flirtly, but I miss you.
I shouldn't call you, but I want to here your voice.
I shouldn't want to come to school, but it's the only way I can see your face .
I shouldn't invite you for sleepovers still, but I love knowing that when I wake up, you're there.

That's more confusing then ever. I mean, you couldn't play Blue's Clues with this mess.
Even, Steve wouldn't know what to do.
I don't really understand either one of our little situations, love.
I know everything might mess up, and we won't understand many of them.
But the one thing I'm certain of, is that I'm going to be here.
You can cry on my shoulder through what's wrong.
I'll always be here.
That's something I can defintly promise you.

We sure were cute, for two ugly people.

I'm getting so sick of it. Sick of the same words, coming from everyone's mouth.
I've heard the speech a million times before, "You can do better and you deserve much more." I get myself sick over it because I know it's true, but I don't want better, I don't want some else to hold me, I don't want to kiss someone else's lips, I don't want to hold somebody else's hand. It doesn't seem right. It's like the world keeps spinning, but I'm stuck in the past. I mean, I don't want anyone else, because anyone else isn't you. I don't think you were getting what I was trying to explain to you yesterday. A two hour conversation, and it was like everything went in one ear and went out the other. I cried and cried for you, I faught for our love everyday, because it was the best thing I had ever recieved. It was one of the things I loved having you know? I go back now, on the things you said, on exactly what happened, and I see how much we wanted it. We wanted each other, and now we're fighting a feeling that you shouldn't fight to go away. You can't fight love away. You can't.
Once you love someone, that doesn't go away. You don't let it fade.
But, sadly a part of me wants it to go. To leave, and never come back. But, I can't.
I don't know want to do without you, I hate admitting it.
I hate admitting how much you mean, because everyone calls me stupid, for still being in love with you.
But, they don't see what I see.
Noone see's what I see in you.
Not even , you.

Having so much to say, and watching you walk away.

" I don't think we should be friends for a while.. " I tried saying, without hestitating, knowing I was anyways.

"Oh really, why?" You asked, with hatred in your voice.

"Noah." I said, looking back at my best friend. I couldn't tell you all the reasons you fucked my life up. All the reasons, I hated you right now. All the reasons, I just wish you never exsisted.

And, as I called him over, you looked at me, eyes full of dread" You know what? Nevermind"And, you stormed out of the movie theater. I ran right behind you, trying to think of words to say. " You're not suppose to like someone while, your with someone else, that just isn't right."I scream. As your walking away from me. Acting like I'm some kind of murder on the lose.

You leave, and so do we. And I talk about how much I hate you, and how stupid you are and how much I just wish you weren't real. Knowing inside, that you were one of the best things that had ever happened to me. You were one of the only things that ever made me smile, and only thing I thought would last, you know? I thought you were something special.. only to be let down another time right? It's not like I have a problem with it thought, I mean being let down is normal for me. It happens all the time. I mean, it's happened to me my whole life. I don't know why I'm suprised. I thought about it some more, and I decided to text you, and tell you exactly what I was thinking at this certain moment - it went something like this :

dear boy- this isn't about you not liking me. i'm just so sick of treating you so welll, and you not appericating any of it. Have fun with that girl, asshole.

See, I didn't explain that either. He was with me, for a while right?

But, then another girl came it. I questioned him, and questioned him about her, and he kept denying how he was drawn to her. It wasn't right. I knew he had something for her, and that's somewhat the reason I ended it. You don't tell someone you love them, then 2 days after you break up, say "Oh, I don't like you anymore. I like the girl that I told you I flirted with, but had nothing with".

You don't fucking say that.

You know what? I do miss you at times.

At times, I wish everything was the way it was back when you were the little white boy in my english class who never talked. But, at times I miss when you would hug me, and care about me. I don't really understand.

I miss you, and, that's something I'll never admit to.

it's called break- up, cause it's broken.

I finally came out and said the truth. I couldn't stand being unhappy anymore.

I finally was ready to end it. End something that once was my fairlytale. End something that once was the most important thing to me. I said it, I couldn't handle being around you, and you holding me, while inside I felt pain, and sorrow. I thought we could sit around and talk for hours, about the things you needed to understand, but you already did. You knew exactly what you were doing wrong. But, see you know my heart. You knew, my jelous heart just couldn't take it anymore. The only thing I could say to you was " I'll be okay, is that what you want me to say? It's called break-up cause it's broken, isn't it?" and with that, our whole relationship, our whole thing we kept fighting for. Ended. All in a split minute.

The only thing now, is that my house is haunted, I swear it is, but what do I care if it's your ghoust thats in my room? Why would I care if someone so amazing, that made me happy for a very long room, haunted it. I don't know. The only thing that bothers me is that.

I see you, but I can't touch you. I can't satify myself anymore. I can't get the craving I want anymore. It's killing me. Slowly.

I mean, here's the truth. I miss you. I miss you so much. Everything I do, reminds me of you. I can't. I don't want to, do this without you.

But, on the other hand I know it's only right to move on. It's only right to forget the feeling I got from being in your arms. To forget the feeling I got when you said you loved me, when you said you wanted to be with nothing but me. I have to forget about these feelings. I have to just let it all go.

I still care about you more than you could understand, but I don't want to prove that.

I don't want you to be scared of me now ; like I am of you.

I'm scared of you, because letting you go as a boyfriend is differant then letting you go as a friend.

If you were my friend and I didnt like you - you'd be gone.

But, you were special to me, very special, and I don't think you understand that,

when you find someone that special, letting go is the hard part.

But, deep down I know.

I'm better off without you anyways.

you leave me speechless, but don't take her breath away.

" Good morning, boo" I whispered, while slowly forcing my eyes open.

You looked at me, smiled, and replied " Good morning".

You were the cutest thing I had ever seen, and you were all mine.

All mine, right?

Well, I hope your all mine. I hope you're being truthful to what you say.

Because I don't like the fact you flirt with this girl, I have to be honest.

I don't like it when she is mentioned, or when you talk about her. I don't like it when you joke about her. Because it's not funny.

I don't like coming to realization that I'm not good enough for you. That I can't please you.

Boo, I don't want to lose you.

I don't know what I'd do - not being able to look in your eyes.

Not kissing those lips.

I wouldn't know how to function.

Knowing you left me to be with her - I wouldn't understand why.

Why I didn't satisfy you?

Why couldn't I realize it?

Boo, I know she's over and done with.

I trust you. Don't take this the wrong way.

I just want you to know -

My life isn't the same without you.

The rollercoaster gut rush wouldn't be there.

and, my eyes would look dreary, cause they're not looking at you.

I love you boo, and I mean it. With every bone in my body.

just stay a while , and enjoy the view.

"I'll always run back to you, but I can't run to something if nothing's there.. If you're not willing to let me in. Why am I running? I screeched, with tears pouring down my face.

" Your just wasting your time on me" You yelleped back.

Then click, and the line was dead.

My heart was dead. With you, it understood what its purpose was.

Without you, it doesn't understand anything.

It understood how to let you in. You took it's walls down.

Walls that have been there for longer than you could ever imagine. It learned to protect itself.

I protect myself more then ever, because I don't want someone to come in, and leave with everything I had. You did that. You had everypart of me that you could ever imagine. Then, you just decided to leave. You left with me that day.

But your back now.

I'm back.

I have to be honest, I'm scared now more than ever.

I don't want us to keep fighting, and keep breaking something we both want.
We have each other, and you know what that's important. I think it just occured to me, that we need each other. We're not comfortable with ourselfs, but when we're together. It doesn't even matter. The worlds a better place when were together you know?

When we're not, the world just seems dark, and unreal, and when we're together, it's non-stop sunshine, and everything just seems to fit in, and work out.

Everythings better when we're together.

But, promise your plane isn't leaving for a while?

every second that goes by, i feel is just a waste of time if i'm not with you.

This room - it's not fun anymore.
Looking at it now, the images rush to my head. It's an unbearable feeling. When memories overwhelm you and you honestly aren't sure on how to react. But the thing that gets me most is that, everywhere I look is where you used to me. Is, where I want you to be. I can't make you be where I want you to be. I don't have magic powers. I don't have the ability to teleport you wherever I want you. I wish I could, but life isn't magic. I'm no superhero. I have to admit it's not easy being without you all the time. Cupid put me in this chokehold ; and because of it, I found myself falling in love with you. But, it's hard falling in love with someone who doesn't have much time. Time is everything, as I've written previously. It can heal and it can scar. It can make and break. It can go fast, it can go slow. I'm not the only one who realized it right?
I mean, I was heartbroken once. Time healed it. I fell in love with you - that took time. I grew up, and that also took time. I just wish you had the time - because you are everything to me.
You need to realize that. If home is where the heart is, then my home is where you are, but it's getting oh so hard to spend these days without my heart. It hasn't been long - I know that.
But, I still miss you. I always miss you.

my jelous heart honestly, can't take this.

So, who is she?
A long time friend, alright.
But, why would you act so differant with her?
Why would things be differant with me when you're with her?
They shouldn't be, so why are they?
Tell me the truth? Is there something you see in her?

Something beyond the friendship. Baby, it's easy to fall in love with you're best friend.

Believe me, I've been there one too many times.
You fall in love with the way they smile, the way they make you laugh, and the way they never judge you for anything.

There aren't alot of people out there, like that. Who will hold you in the dark times, when things don't go your way. Best friends do. All the time.

It's easy to fall for them. But, it's not a good idea to fall in love with them - while you're with someone else.

Baby, I'm not saying you're falling in love with her. I'm not saying anything actually.
Just make sure you let me know if something happens - I won't be mad.

I just want to let you know - I trust you. I trust you won't fall in love with someone else ..
besides me.
I just wish, instead of spending the night with her. You'd be right beside me.

as time goes on, love starts to show - chapter 2.

They exchanged glances more than a few times, and passed each other in the halls.
Never really thinking about the could be's. Not thinking that maybe if they took the time to talk to each other, they'd realize they need each other.
It was then when the miracle happened.
A friend of the girls, had an eye for him. We weren't sure where it came from, but he was the interesting boy from science class. There was something about him. The girl noticed it too. He was a puzzle, and these girls were ready to figure him out.
The girl not being scared of much, decided to go introduce herself. She asked the boy to hang out at lunch, and just chill with the girl and her friend. He thought that would be fun, and agreed.
It was a constant laughing fest between the 3. The girl looked at him again, and thought maybe he could be more than a friend. She thought about it more and more as the time went on.
The girl started developping feelings for the boy, as did her friend. She wasn't sure on what to do. The girl decided to let him know - if he didn't feel the same it wouldn't be that much of a big deal, at least he would know.
It was then, when things feel into place.
When the two humans who had no idea what to do with the word love.
Finally decided to try another shot at it.
and, trust me, this time.
There not letting this love go - because this one matters.

does my daddy love me? probably not.

Dear Father,
It's hard for me to write a letter to you, when I barely know who you are.
I have so many questions.
What's your name? What's your background? Who are you really?But, most importantly why did you leave? What made you realize it was better to leave?What went through your mind at that certain moment? But, the questions aren't my main concern.
The one thing I really want you to know about - Is me.
I'm Chloe. I'm 15 now. That's a long fucking time eh? Sure is.
I've really grown up. Really, I have.

You might have not been around, but want to know something funny?
I've probably learnt more things from you, then other people have from there fathers.
The biggest thing - People can randomly just walk out of your life - you might not have a choice.
They just get up and leave and you somehow have to be okay with it. Realize there not coming back, and keep living.
I just wanted to thank you dad, for that lesson.

Well, this was just a note to remind you.
I'm still living - not exactly the easiest life.
harder then you would ever think actually.
but, I'm living.
And I'll keep living - whether it's with you in it, or not.

the first part of a modern day fairytale.

" and they fall forever in love .. "


Page 1 -
We're at the begging of this fairytale.
Let's get the facts straight now.
We have our princess, not you're everday princess.
This princess didn't live in a castle, or not even a decent house.
She lived in a little apartment, on the corner or rose and chapel,
not the greatest area to live, but it's where she did.
This princess wasn't brought up with a brother and sister, and a father.
She grew up with her mother, and a half brother, who she considered her brother anyways.
He had always been there for her. Until, he moved out of course.
This princess never had it good with love, always messing it up, or saying something wrong, or not being able to say the right thing at the right time.
She had her times, she thought she'd wait 'till love found her.
Then, we have our prince,
This prince didn't have much, a family who had some problems with money,
and making friends was hard. Pretending he had all was easy; his decent house was given to his family, and things looked good, but it was a whole differant story. I mean ,b eing alone in a world, that can get so cold, is very hard.
He had no idea who he was, and he had no idea how to find himself.
Both were a little messed up in a way ; waiting for there love to come and show them the right direction.
Do they end up together?
Or not?
Is there more to this fairytale then just the characters?
Well, you'll have to wait and see.

i just want to make you proud, and i will.

I have to try this time.
I'm changing everything around, I promise.
I'm done falling.
I'm ready to get back to reality.
I'm coming, so look out.
I might be there faster then you think.
It's harder then it looks, but I'll try.
I'll try as hard as I possibly can.
I want you to be proud of me. I want you to trust me.
Believe me, I'm trying for you.
No one else.

finally, i can admit, that you were just a bad habit that i was ready to quit..

"Baby, can I show you something?"
"Of course, anything" He responded, with that perfect grin on his face.
I put our song on. The song that always reminds me, that I have one of the most amazing boy's in the world. You had me in your arms, starring at me like I was everything, more than everything. You starred at me like I was your whole life, all that really mattered. You kissed my forehead, and the words you said that night, have never left my head.
"Baby, look at me"
" Nooo." I responded with my voice he loved.
"Baby, look at me, in the eyes" He ordered.
It was then I looked at him, starred him right in the eyes, and realized I was taken.
Body and soul. They were both taken. This 14 year old boy had taken everything I had. my guards were let down, and I had no idea how to manage without him. He was my life now, whether I was ready to admit it or not.
" You are the more beautiful thing I have ever seen, you're eyes shine like the moon. You take me places, I never thought I could be. Baby, I don't lie. I never will. I love you so much, more then you could ever imagine. I won't ever leave you. I promise."
Then, all of a sudden another boy popped in my head, I went through my memories with him, and it was then when I finally realized my feelings had gone, away for him. I was happy.
I wasn't afraid to fall in love anymore, I wasn't scared of realizing I was in love with you.
I wasn't afraid to finally admit the obvious. I want you and nobody else.
If I can't have you, I don't want anyone else. Baby, you complete me.
I love you, always.