Having so much to say, and watching you walk away.

" I don't think we should be friends for a while.. " I tried saying, without hestitating, knowing I was anyways.

"Oh really, why?" You asked, with hatred in your voice.

"Noah." I said, looking back at my best friend. I couldn't tell you all the reasons you fucked my life up. All the reasons, I hated you right now. All the reasons, I just wish you never exsisted.

And, as I called him over, you looked at me, eyes full of dread" You know what? Nevermind"And, you stormed out of the movie theater. I ran right behind you, trying to think of words to say. " You're not suppose to like someone while, your with someone else, that just isn't right."I scream. As your walking away from me. Acting like I'm some kind of murder on the lose.

You leave, and so do we. And I talk about how much I hate you, and how stupid you are and how much I just wish you weren't real. Knowing inside, that you were one of the best things that had ever happened to me. You were one of the only things that ever made me smile, and only thing I thought would last, you know? I thought you were something special.. only to be let down another time right? It's not like I have a problem with it thought, I mean being let down is normal for me. It happens all the time. I mean, it's happened to me my whole life. I don't know why I'm suprised. I thought about it some more, and I decided to text you, and tell you exactly what I was thinking at this certain moment - it went something like this :

dear boy- this isn't about you not liking me. i'm just so sick of treating you so welll, and you not appericating any of it. Have fun with that girl, asshole.

See, I didn't explain that either. He was with me, for a while right?

But, then another girl came it. I questioned him, and questioned him about her, and he kept denying how he was drawn to her. It wasn't right. I knew he had something for her, and that's somewhat the reason I ended it. You don't tell someone you love them, then 2 days after you break up, say "Oh, I don't like you anymore. I like the girl that I told you I flirted with, but had nothing with".

You don't fucking say that.

You know what? I do miss you at times.

At times, I wish everything was the way it was back when you were the little white boy in my english class who never talked. But, at times I miss when you would hug me, and care about me. I don't really understand.

I miss you, and, that's something I'll never admit to.