I'm so sorry, baby.

Lately, we've been fighting.
About the stupid little things that drive us both crazy.
I scream and I yell, and I just want to punch you, my fist clenched with anger.
I want to be right. I want to be wrong.
I don't know what I want anymore.
I want to hate you so much when you break my promises or say something stupid.
But, with a face like yours who could?
I get mad, and then I look at you again one more time.
I look at your face that looks afraid, and scared.
I come to my senses that this was my fault, and I putt his fight into play.
I look at you and apologize.
I'm so sorry.
We'll fight. It's only normal.
But, I'm always here.
Always.

I'll never forget it.

Let this night be the night to remember.
The night we forget, our age, our names, and where we were before this exact moment in time.
Our age doesn't matter, if we're too young that doesn't matter to me.
Your name, I'll remember, but I just want to close my eyes, and take this in.
Where I was, or who I was before this exact moment, doesn't matter. This is where everything begins.
Let's go past the tongue, let's get crazy tonight.
I'm ready baby, take me to a paraside of friction.
Let's start with you, and I.
Starring at each other, I'll never forget the way you looked at me.
I'll never forget you.

you make me feel something i've never felt.

I was never one to know what love was.
Mom was always gone on her buisness trips, or her 'girlfriend' weekends or at work. As for dad, well we didn't commincate well, he was never much of a talker.
I grew up alone, I guess, well along with brandon, my older brother. We were unstoppable, that kid and I, but we didn't know love if it came knocking on our front door. See I'd try and figure it out, I mean what kid wouldn't right? But, I'd never seem to figure it out. I'd always do something wrong, or say something I shouldn't have done. Then, suddednly he came along. He was like my best friend and my boyfriend, and with both of those together it made everything perfect. We didn't kiss until we knew it was time. And we always held hands, because that's when I felt protected. Like I had someone fighting my battles with me. He always stares at me, and in my the back of mind I always wonder why, but he knows I wonder and when I make a confused face , he looks at me even closer, and says ' baby, your beautiful.. I just don't understand how I got someone as beautiful as you .. It takes some getting used to.'
So, a kid like me, who never felt love? Yeah, I'm feeling it , and in case you haven't figured it out. It feels great.

Get out of my way, a new adventure's on the way.

"Life's a climb but the view's great."

I've never learned more about life, then I have here.

It showed me the young woman I was destined to be, and it helped the kid inside of me, break free.

I remember the first day,

Walking in, thinking " I'll figure who I am,here.This will be everything. It's high school."

And over the 2 years that I stayed there. I found out.

I found out I was afraid. I found out I had to many walls built up. I found out I'm scared of commitment.

Then, as time when on, I  came to realize something.

I wasn't afraid, I was unsure about what was going to happen. A feeling every human being has.

I didn't have to many walls built up, I just wanted to make sure I chose the right friends, and I was scared I hadn't.

I wasn't scared of commitment. I was scared of falling in love, and never being able to fall out.

Look, who's all grown up now.

I think it's time this girl has a new adventure.

Goodbye.

You remind me of a melody I didn't know.

"Starin' blanky ahead, just making my way, makin' my way through the crowd"

It was all I ever thought about.
Take in what you have, and  live with it.
1000 Miles by Vannessa Carleton was always a song, I listened to, when I felt alone, or out of place.
It was one of those songs that made me believe you'd find me one day.
You'd be just like me.
So afraid, but so comfortable.

" I could have met you in a sandbox, I could have passed you on the sidewalk could I have missed my chance and watched you walk away?"

Then, I'd listen to Love Song For No One By John Mayer,  and it'd make me wonder where you are.
Behind me, beside me, infront of me, I'd be paranoid.
I'll look around, and wonder who I was attracted too, and wonder about if I knew them, and if I fell in love with them, and what my life would look like.


Then, when I thought I found someone,
Tongue Tied ByFaber Drive was the only thing that even made sense.

"And everytime I try, I get tongue tied. I need a little good luck to get me by this time"


But, now,

I've got  you.

And,
So many songs remind me of you.


Taylor Swift's "Love story "
" You be the prince, and I'll be the princess, it's a love story baby, just say yes."

The Plain White Tee's "Hey There Deliah"
"Two more years and you'll be done with school, and I'll be making history like I do. You know it's all because of you."

Hedley's "Trip"
"Some say love is not for sinners, I believe that isn't true, cause when I was finished sinning, love came down and gave me you."

Don't waste your time on me.

"Don't do it"
I starred at you, for a couple minutes, knowing the things that you could unleash if I gave you the key.
The permission to give away information I gave to you, when you were mine.
" Why not? We could be friends"
You said, with voice full of anger.


" I'm happy. Don't you understand that? I'm finally happy, without you.
I'm finally okay with fighting my own battles, and not being rescued. I realized what we had wasn't love, but lust.
It was your typical High School love story, and it ended. For a reason.
At the beginging it was sweet, and we were crazy about each other, but as time went on, feelings changed. I began to realize all you had done, was hurt me. And I was ready to move forward. I was ready for something new."

I spoke with fear, and you knew that I was lying.

" You miss me.
whether you'll admit it to me, or not. You might not want me back, but you miss what we had.
And  .. well maybe your not the only one.
I remember the way people would stare at us, so jelous of what we had.
I remember the way I'd think I was the luckiest boy in the world .. and how when I looked at you, I saw the most..."

I cut you off right there.

" STOP"

"I don't want to hear anymore of it.
Look, I don't want you back. I have someone. I am happy now. Just because you're not flying high enough, doesn't mean I have to come down with you. Look, we were good. But were not anymore.
And, I don't miss you."
"Go away!"



It was in the moment, where I had no idea what I had just said.
But, I didn't want to realize if I was lying or not.
Because, all I know right now is I'm happy.
And, right now, that's all I want to feel.

So, as you walked out the door,
you looked me in the eyes, and said words I never thought I'd ever hear from your mouth again,

" I love you boo, I always did, and I always will. Maybe you'll figure out you love me too one day, and when that day comes.. I hope you call me. I'll be waiting."

Maybe for once, I get a happy ending.

You be the prince, and I'll be the princess,

I'm the girl who never really knew the world, and what was beyond her little castle,

and you're the  boy who had a map, but didn't exactly know where he was headed.

But, I took a step out of the castle, and took a breath of fresh air, and I suddendly, from the corner of my eye, I saw you.

On your white horse, ready to take me away.


It's a love story,
Baby, just say yes.

I'm trying to keep up with all these emotions ,

I'm scared.
I'm safe.
I'm worried.
I'm calm.
I'm upset.
I'm happy

I'm nervous.

I'm comfortable.

I'm cold.

I'm warm.

I'm shaking.

I'm not moving at all.

Baby, I'm falling.
Catch me, please?

Baby, you're just as frightening as clowns.

Sometimes I wonder what's holding me back?

What's holding me back from me telling you about my childhood?
About how I don't know my real father, and how I learned how to rollerblade this year, and how I didn't live at home for a couple years?

What's holding me back from me telling you about the odd things about me?
How I can't sleep without the blanket on my feet, and how much you make me smile when you sing to me, how I read because I feel alone?

What's holding me back from telling you the truth?
How I hate that you drink all the time, because my mom's an alcoholic, how I hate when you say another girl's hot, how badly I want you to send smileys when you text me, because I'm a paranoid freak.

What could it be?

I think it's possibly because,
I'm so afraid.
I'm afraid of falling in love with you.
Because, I'm afraid I'll fall out.

Everything's out of control.

Sometimes you can never really understand what's going on around you, like suddendly your on the fastest ride on at the town fair, and you just keep going on it, over and over again, and for some reason, your not bored, and even more so you arent sick. And you always got sick on that ride.
The fact was the emotion you felt was nothing you ever could even be bothered to explain. It was like you were upet, but happy. Angry, yet calm. It didn't make sense anymore. The lights were blurs now, and you are numb. And for some reason, you wish you felt anything but how you were feeling, because anything is better than nothing, right?

Last time I talked you to, you looked right past me.

A girl.
The average outcast girl.
With the short odd coloured hair, the face with the strange features, and the clothes that just never matched.
That was you.
And, yes at first it was cool to have a friend that was outcasted. That didn't have much, or I thought didn't have much.
Until, I knew you're reality.
Until, I knew the way you worked.

Let's start the story out from the beginning.
I was the popular girl at Riverdale High, the "Rich" High School, as alot of people would say. It was full of preps, and snobby little bitches, who I swear got into buisness when they really didn't need to know.

You were at McKenzie School of Arts, the " Openly Gay" High School. You had been in selected to be part of the Literary Arts program, back when you were in the 9th grade. Personally, I wasn't sure why you were there, because your writing didn't have much class to it. But either way. That's where you went.

Then, I met him.
He was the dork at my school. The guy who joined chess club, and swim team. He was the guy who had no friends, but said " Hi" to about everyone in the hallway. You'd always seem him studying for something. If you really looked, he was beautiful. And, I noticed it in the second semester of Grade 9. He sat a couple rows in front of me in my Science Class, and I was just so drawn to him. So I invited him to have lunch with me, and my best friend at the time. He was shy at first, but at the same time he looked comfortable. The more we talked, the more we knew about each other, and the more we knew about each other, the more interested we got in each other. After 2 weeks of knowing Drew, he had asked me out. The popular girl, and the dork of the school, were dating.

But, there were people I had yet to meet.
You and Drew had been best friend since the 8th grade, and hung out all the time. His friend were all at McKenzie, and he wanted to go there aswell, but his parents wouldn't have let him.
There was a party one night, and that was the night I met you.
I was chatting it up with everyone, got to know names, " Abby, Harleigh, Janie .."
I walked to Drew, and he introduced me to you.
" Hailey, this is Roxy"
I looked at you strange, but we became instant friends.
We hung out many times after that party, and our friendship just kept growing.
Drew started to get kinda upset, because Roxy had been his friend, and when we fought she was his only getaway.
But, he soon got over it.
A couple months later, Drew and I broke up, and I was devasted, althought I was the one who did it.
I talked about Drew alot, and because you knew him well, you were a great shoulder to cry on, or at least I thought you had been.
Months passed, and I was still hung up on Drew, but we had been best friends, and it worked out. I still spent time with him, we watched movies together like we used to, we did everything, just like we used to. Just there wasn't that connection anymore. No more kissing. But, we sometimes still did hold hands. I began to grow used to it. And soon, another love came my way.
But, for the months I had been so hung up on Drew,talking about how special he was, how well he treated me, you fell in love with him. And decided not to mention anything to me. Kept it your own little secret.
And, when I found out you wanted to have sex with Drew, things went a littl overboard.
My trust for you had now been completely broken, and suddendly things had been broken.
I hated you, with great passion.
And, I ended our friendship.

Now? What's happening?

You told me you cried everynight, because we weren't friend, and I felt bad for you, so I said we could friends again. Little did I know that was a bad idea.
You talk about Drew 24/7, and He know has a great girlfriend.
Drew, and I are still best friend, always telling each other everything.
Drew now hates Roxy, because of the obsession over him.
And, me? Well, I start to hate Roxy a little more everyday now.
She just doesn't know.
But, she will soon.

You're the best, that I'll have to admit.

Baby, I've been thinking of everything we've talked about.
And, I want you to remember, I think you're amazing. And I don't want out of this any time soon.

The list of things we need to do.


1. Play a game of soccer, and since I'm a boy I'll try and be good at it, but knowing in the end, you'll win.

2. We'll skate on the canal, and I'll teach you to skate. I'll pick you up when you fall, and when your hands are too cold, and your stomach is empty, I'll go buy you a beaver tail, and hot chocolate, and hold you. Until, your warm again.

3. On you're 17th birthday, I will stand up on the table, and sing you "Hey There Deliah by The Plain White Tee's" And I will scream it, so everyone can hear me. I'll embarras you, just so you don't forget your 17th birthday.

4. I'll come to your early season hockey games, and cheer you on. Even if you fall, and don't score. I'll laugh on the sidebars, and smile.

5. I'll come to your dance recitals, and watch your feet seeing if your walking any better, and I'll come up to you after the recital, and say " Hey looks like my penguins growing up, and finally walking like a human."

6. I'll attend the Taylor Swift concert with you, and I will sing as loud as I can.
I will hold your hand and sing all her songs to you.
(I know them all)
And, I'll remind you how much you mean to me, about every 15 minutes.

7. I'll always meet you at the Little Critters Pet Store, and I'll sneak up on you, and scare you, while you watch the bunny you want that you've already named.

8. I will spend 2 hours with you in Wal Mart, looking at the stupid things they have, and play with the toys, and we'll try not to break them.

9. I will not say I love you, until I know I mean it, and we've been in the relationship a long time.

10. I will attend Where The Wild Things Are, on it's premier day, because I know it has been one of your favorite books since you were little, and you're mom used to read it every Thursday night.

11. I will attend Lights with you, because I know you like her, and if I get to spent more time with you, then I'll go.

12. I'll hold your hand no matter what, and I'll keep you protected from anything.
Promise, promise.

Baby, I just love it when you sing to me.

Hey there Chloe,
What's it like in New York City,
I'm a thousand miles away, but girl tonight you look so pretty,
Yes you do,
Times Square can't shine as bright as you.
I swear it's true.


Hey there Chloe,
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Chloe,
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Chloe
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Chloe, I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Chloe,
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Chloe here's to you
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.



And, you'll always sing it to me, wherever we are.
Baby, I might act like I'm in embarrassed but I'm not.
I'm just not used to having someone as amazing as you around.

Let our hearts fall, while we dance the night away.

"Baby, let's dance the night away"
It's all I kept hearing, as if a broken record was in my mind.
The club packed, and everyone dancing.
I was lost in the rhythm, the voices echoing in my mind.
As I danced, so did my heart along with the song yours was singing.
We kept dancing, as our hearts kept falling.
I know this won't be nothing.
Please reassure me.

You finally showed me I was worth saving,

"Don't fall of the edge."
This could be dangerous, and I don't want you to hurt yourself again.

I looked down, to all the ongoing traffic that was below me. The air was sharp here, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was starting to get frightned now.
Jump, and take the risk, or forget it and live with regret.
I slowly put my foot out, and I tripped, and I fell.
10000 feet, and It felt good.

I kept falling, and it was nothing like I expected it to be.
I was smiling, and I was happy.
It felt good, it felt right.
And, with that I was confused, and comforted.

And, as I was slowly coming to the bottom where the cars were cruising the streets,
I began to get scared.I was getting excited to get hurt.
But why?
I began to yell, and I began to cry.
And suddendly, there you came.
Flying through the sky, and grabbed me.
I was starstrucked and completely unaware of what had just accured.
I was unconcious for a while.
But, when I awoke. I awoke to find you.
This little boy, who just smiled.
You kissed my forehead, and reassured me everything was going to be okay.

Baby, I was afraid to fall.
But, I fell, I fell hard, but it was all for you.
And, I'm alright with that.

were in it, if it lasts or not.

Forever or not, maybe it's just for the moment. Maybe it's wrong, but then again, it just feels so right. A hand to hold again over and over. A face to look at and smile about. Baby, whether this works out or not , it was totally worth a shot.

perfection.

Just keep applying it.
Another coat of coverup.
Another coat of mascara, just incase.
Fake another smile, as a goodlooking boy passes by, and faunt whatever you have. Rehearse every word you could possibily say today, and make it sound like your unbelievavly happy.
Apply as many coats of lipgloss as you can. Well, make it a game.
Honey, look what you've become. Your so lost into trying to perfect. You so badly want to be the defintion of perfection. Honey, before this gets to bad, remeber nobodys perfect. And nobody comes close.