Come Home.

I'm sick of it.
I wait at the window all day, just to see a glimpse of your face.
Or maybe the little crease that appers on the side of your mouth when you smile, or maybe the little freckle you have on your left cheek.
I'd sit on the bench we have near the window, from when I wake up in the morning, till when I think it's dark outside. When I can't make out the shadows anymore. I'd wait to the point I couldn't see anything.
I don't want to be waiting all my life.
Are you ever coming home?

I'm not ready for this.

I don't want to think about it.
I don't want to talk about it.
I don't want to be reminded about it.
I don't want to cry about it.
I don't want to be mad about it.





But, I don't want to forget about it.

The town will be brightened by colours I can only see.

Lately, I've been seeing magic fairy dust everywhere I go.
Before I see it, I get these flashbacks of memories that relate to the certain place, or certain thing.
As the flashback ends, the fairdust appers.
I don't question the fairy dust though because I like to think the fairy dust is a sign that I'm learning to let go of old memories and old stories. I'm learning to let go.
Soon, all my memories will turn to stardust, and this whole town will be brigthtened with the special dust that only I can see.

My story book ending.

You came on your white horse, your hair swaying in the wind, and your eyes sparkling.
Once I saw you I finally believed in love at first sight.
You helped me upon your horse, and galloped away.
I told you about what had happened, with my step mother, and my evil step sisters.
I told about what the witch that tried poising me.
I told you about my 7 dwarf friends that stayed with me forever.
I told you everything about me. You knew it all.




You told me about how being the prince wasn't always easy.
You told me about how your mom was the queen and how everyone bowed down to her.
You told me about how everyone treated you differently cause you were the prince. 
You told me everything about yourself. I knew it all.
We traveled to everyplace we could on the way back to our castle.
But, we got lost. 
We're at a dead end, and I'm scared.
What if this is the end.. for us.
Not just for the journey.

This is not to get confused , this one's for you.

I gotta get my head into this.
I don't want to leave. I can't. But then again, I don't think I can stay. I'm in love with you. You're holding my heart right in your hands baby. But I have to tell you the truth. It's time to confess. I don't know if I'm ready for this. I don't know if I'm ready for all this. For someone to finally care. Someone to hold onto while I fall, someone to wipe the tears away when I'm crying and someone to help me when the answer is just to hard. I don't know if I'm ready to share my life with you.I've always been the kind of girl who believed I'd only love myself, and you came into my world and the whole world started spinning and my stomach was filled with butterflies. Baby, give me some time to make up my mind. Remember- I love you.

Please understand, some girls cant stay strong forever.

" What's wrong baby? You look like a human waterfall. Tears keep falling out of your pretty blue eyes and I don't know how to make them stop. I don't know how to change the world for you baby. I want to fight away all the evil for you. Fight all your battles for you. Babe, I wish I could take all your pain away. I'd do anything to make you happy, but I'll hold onto you. Lay here in my arms and cry.I won't leave baby .. I promise "

Would you like a love letter?

I want a love letter. One with words that make my heart grow wings and fly higher then I thought was possible. I want words to be scibbled on a piece of paper, that gets delievered to my front door by you. I want a single piece of ligned paper, that your heart thought of, and took to rearrage a perfect sentence explaining exactly how you feel with me. I want you to explain to me, the things I gave to your life. Like  how the sun has an extra coat of yellow, making the sky brighter, making your whole world brighter each and every morning, since we met. I want you to write down the words you feel, how your hearts jumps, and your words get tangled into some spider wed that evolved in your mind, and how you always worry about what comes out of your mouth. I want you to explain to me, how you feel like your eyes were in black and white, and you dont understand what happened but, as soon as you saw me, your world was suddendly colourful. Your world suddendly started getting waves of blue, pink , purple and every colour.
You were shocked that this was possible. But, since you met me, you believed anything was possible.
I want you to remind me this will be forever. That without me,you dont see a future. You dont see yourself without a smile on a beautiful girl. You dont know what youd do.
I just want a love letter.

Falling alone, hurts more then you know.

You have to promise me this one thing? Don't tell me you love me, if you know you'll leave. Don't hold my hand if you know you'll let go soon. Don't rip my heart from my chest if you know I'll have no chance of getting it back. Baby, don't let me fall in love with you, if you have no intention of taking the jump with me. Promise?

They Were My Childhood Memories

You never liked places that were quiet. You attracted noice, but for some reason since I like these places you slowly became fond of it as well. You asked if we could go to chapters, just so I could read to you. Read you the books that my mom used to read me, and why they were special.
" Every Friday, before Christmas day, my mom would read me the story and then we'd watch the movie" I said as I opened the book" How The Grinch Stole Christmas. "

"This book was my thursday book, every thursday I'd scream and yell about I didn't want to eat dinner, and she'd send me to my room and I'd do just what the kid in the book did, and then she'd come read me the story, and have my food for me "
I said as I opened the next book Where The Wild Things Are.
With each book, your eyes got bigger, as if each story and each reason I read it, made you feel more connected to me. More involved in a life you had wished you'd been a part of. With each book, you got my childhood memories. As I finished each book, I gave you a memory of mine. I'm letting you in now. This is becoming serious.
Don't let me down. Don't let me grow attached if all you'll be is another memory.

That perfect moment.

We were at my favorite spot in town, the bagel shop that I had been going to since I was 3 years old. You brought me there every so often, just to have a bagel, or sometimes to just sit down and chat. But there was one day, at that bagel shop I will never forget. It all happened on October 31st 2009. Halloween. I was with a group of friends, some I didn't know very well, others I knew like the back of my hand.Then there was you. You had my heart way before this day, but this was the day things started unravelling and becoming something more." Can I talk to you?" You whispered in my ear as I finished my favorite plain bagel, with pb and j. I wiped my mouth, and took a quick sip of orange juice, and we walked out of the bagel shop. You stopped me, right behind it. "Do you know what love means?" You asked. I sat there completely out of breath, and unsure of what was coming." It's when you find the missing piece.The missing part of your life, and it doesn't matter how old you are when you find it,or where you are in your life. Love is finding that missing piece. Maybe your shy, and that missing piece makes you more outgoing. Maybe your hiding from people and that piece helps you come out. Whatever it may be, the missing piece helps you be a better you makes you feel more alive.Look, I know I said I'd never use the "L" word until I completely meant it. But, see your my missing piece. When I'm with you I'm not afriad of anything. Not afraid of dying. Not afraid of tomorrow. Not afraid of anything. You make me the best person I could ever be, and everyday I find myself smiling, because I have the most beautiful girl in the entire world, and she's all mine. So, baby.The reason I brought you out here, is because I wanted to tell you I love you. I know they're just words, but I could scream it off rooftops, I would go to every radio station and scream " I love Rachel Innesosa" I would. Baby, I want the whole world to know your mine. "
Then, you kissed me.Forever and always. It was the most perfect moment, I've ever had in my life.



And I was there when you said forever and always, you didn't mean it baby.. Or did you?

I remember what my momma said, don't trust anyone with the word love.

I love to smile. Everyone knows that. I love the feeling of my muscles moving into a force where happiness is shown.It makes things so pretty. Things can be brightened so easily. But the truth of it is, I haven't been doing it much lately.My muscles don't seem to have enough power to make a smile. My eyes want to water, and I breathe it to force it to stop. The reasoning for all this, is well you. Your ignorance and distance away from me is breaking me. Time is needed, and it's pretty clear you don't have time for this. This doesn't matter to you. I can't read your mind, but your eyes tell a story I think anyone could read. Your not interested. I mean nothing. Your with me for the fear of being alone. Your not living if your lonely, and you keep me for your unrealistic happiness. But what you've done to me is terrible. You've grabbed my heart,and your dangling it from the top of a cliff. I'm totally in love with you, and you have the advantage. I'll do anything to make you stay. Anything at all. It tears me in two. But that's the reality of it. Your in love with the thought of me.I'm in love with everything you are. A part of me wishes you'd let go, but the majordy of me know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Even if you don't love me.