you better speak nothing but the truth, or else.

It's alot more complicated then I would like to say it is.
But, I want you to know I never planned on this. I mean, it's not easy.
There's a few things that must be cleared up; are you ready to take the stand?

Okay, first question - How do you know him? What's your history?
Well, we go back quite a way.
I remember Summer camp; those goofy times, and those amazing starts
I remember the adventures; wal-mart, and superbad, god you were such a funny kid.
I remeber the little contry fair; all the nautious rides, and the bright lights.
but most importantly, I remember the way you looked in my eyes that night. That night was the night .. the night I knew I had feel in love. Maybe it wasn't with the boy I had dreamed of, but this boy was amazing none the less. I never knew the term love, maybe I still didn't but this boy was the only boy I felt safe with, the only boy that always knows how to make me happy, or smile, the boy who said the truth, even if it hurt just a bit.
I remember the day I told him that ; the day it all came crashing down on me.
He denied the truth. He denied it all, he hated accepting the fact he wanted me too.
It was a scary thing. Love ; for us. Is a scary thing.
He was my first love, that I have to admit.

Alright, next question - Do you still love him? Or have any feelings for him?
To be honest, there's always going to be a part of me, that wants to be nothing to be in his arms, there's the truth. But, the thing is, everyone knows your first love takes a part of you. He took a part of me, that he will have for the rest of his life. Whether I want it there or not. It's always there.

Third, and final question -When was the last time you saw him?
It was today, I saw him, and his face just looking at me, like he never knew who I was. Like, I was a ghoust of the past, a ghoust he didn't want to see. He looked afraid, like something had suddendly hit him. I let him ignore me, wishing he didn't , but oddly enough, I was okay with it.

Alright anything else you would like to say, before this comes to a close?
Actually yes, Please know I care about him, I do. But, you, baby you are my life. I care about you more then you could imagine, and I'm so glad you're in my life. You're everything I've ever wanted and more.
Please note ; I am absolutly nothing without you.

you shine brighter then all the stars in the sky, don't you know?

And that's it for us? You're just going to walk away, and pretend what we talked about never happened? Pretend words were never said? Pretend we never sharred something? Pretend none of this happened? Well, I guess your over it. Over,the looks we gave each other, Over the words we shared,Over the places we went. Maybe, you're even over me. I'm not ready for that yet. I sharred something with you. Something irriplacable. Something that is hard to find, something that wasn't classified as love, or a relationship. You had me staying up, night after night, wishing I could just explain the whole thing. You had me saying things I never could've said. You had me crying, because I couldn't believe you were real. I never knew it was possible to have feelings for someone that long, to think of someone everyday, no matter the problem.
You might be a wreck, someone who barely knows how to make themselves happy. And, you might make me cry all the time, and make me wish I was anyone but me, but I want my chance back. To prove to you, I'll be anything you want me to be ; tell me what you want, and I'll be that.

this traffic jam, has way to many cars.

Stop. Everywhere I look you're there. Everyone I look at , your face is seen. I can't take it.

You're haunting me. But, why now? I found someone to look forward to seeing, to finally love. But, I keep trying to walk away from him, cause you keep crossing my mind. You're amazing smile, and the way you always knew exactly what to say. You were always there, always. I never had to ask you to be with me. You wanted to. There's a new boy now, do you understand that? I can't keep being with him, thinking about how nice it would be if I was with you. How much I wished I was with you. That's wrong. He's an amazing boy, a boy I don't exactly deserve to have. If you weren't in the way, the traffic would be moving along. Things wouldn't be complicated, and you wouldn't be waiting here, in the car forever. Slowly getting to your destination. That's not fair. Baby, leave me alone now. I have him. You are long gone, and I have to be okay with that. LET ME GO.

Just because there's rocks on the road, doesn't mean it's all bumpy.

What was I thinking? Packing up, and leaving the heart I now call home. The one's arms I always want to be in. The smile I always want to see. Leaving you would be like the sun leaving the moon. Without them, us humans are nothing. Without you, I'm nothing. I haven't been with you very long I know that. But, for some reason. I believe this could last. I believe we could be somethng, something amazing, and worthwhile. I hope more than anything that we can.
But, remember as you said. " I'll always be here, until you're ready for me to go".
Baby, never go. I'll never be ready, to let go. You already held my hand , now there's no letting go. I love you, with everything I have in me. I hope you know that.

We'll need an abulance, and a moving truck.

I don't want to say it's going to be my fault, but I know it will be. It's not you , it's me.
It's the oldest line in the book, but I don't know what else I can say? I mean, honestly. I thought this could've lasted forever. I thought we could . But, now I go back, and I think, I never would've said forever, if I knew we'd end so fast. The time went by, and things changed. I don't understand, but it's true. I always said I love you, and I'm ashamed. I can't say something I don't mean. I can't say something, that I don't even understand yet. Baby, this thing, it has been amazing, and being in someone else's arms just won't feel right. Kissing someone else's lips will seem wrong.I will never be able to look at someone the way I looked at you. I'm not moving out of your heart yet, but it might be sooner then we thought. But, rememeber - After I'm gone, you'll always be on my mind.

It's just like those comic books, but i'm not a superhero.

So maybe, it hasn't been that long. It's been 5 days, since. But, it seems like forever . I mean , looking at someone elses eyes now, it just seems weird. You're eyes, they shine with every colour imaginable. There isn't a better sight on this earth. I could stare in them for days, and never get bored. I always say everything I possibly can to make you stay. I want you, your smile, your lips. But, everyday it slowly seems you're going fading. Like a photo, you remember it happened, but it's a memory, and you can't go back. I keep trying to save you ; but I don't know how to be superwoman. I don't know how to safe you, from things I don't even know how to battle. I don't want to be on this earth without you ; please stop making me run after you. My breath is shortening, and the faster you run, the more I'll let go. Please, don't leave me.

and this piece, just doesn't want to fit the puzzle.

god, why?
why didn't i realize this before you came in? before a boy, who deserves a chance came in?
we didn't work out, and i hated you for that. made me believe you were nothing i gave you.
i could barely look at you, and speaking to you wasn't even an option, that's when he came in.
he was always there, to listen, to talk to. he was what you were. and i feel for him. i'm with him now, but it doesn't feel the way i want it to. sure, he's amazing. but, you, i always thought you were amaazing. i liked you since the day i first talked to you, i don't remember when that was, exactly. but i know it was the best conversation i had. i hate to admit it, but maybe .. i need you, way more then i think i do. maybe.. i'm scared of the word love, .. maybe .. i'm scared ...
scared of being with someone besides you.

with you, clowns aren't even scary.

There you were ; with your books, and your smile.
I guess I never really payed much attention to that wonderful smile, and to be honest I'm not sure why I didn't. You sat right in front of me, for those 4 months , and I had never spoken a word to you. Man, was that a mistake. Now, I look back on myself and think. Why didn't I turn around and say "hi" or something? You always make me laugh these days, and always know how to make me smile. Sometimes people waste your time, but with you, I'm not wasting anything .

you're the only reason i'm trying.

" Now you want one ,eh?"
oh course, I do. leaving that place, without being in your arms for those seconds, feels like i never left. without you being the last person I hug, I feel I didn't really leave. " I can't stay mad at you". In complete and utter honesty, I don't know how. You are the most amazing thing, and being mad, just wouldn't make any sense. But, alot of things don't make sense right now. Like us. What are we, and were are we going? You give me this gut rush everytime your around, and everytime you enter a room, it's like I don't want you to leave, ever. It might be weird to say, but it's true. I love being with you, I don't care where we are. I just knowing you're in the room, with that amazing smile. It's taken me awhile, to really .. get used to it. Everyone knows by now, that were not just friends, because they can see it in our eyes , but they know were not in a reationship either. I'll be truthful, I want to be. I want to be able to hold your hand, and be the luckiest girl in the world. You know the way you make me feel, I mean, I can't even bother to explain exactly what I feel for you. Just, I'm getting so sick, of getting excited for something maybe I shouldn't be getting excited for. So, all I'm asking if to know - Is this going somewhere? and If it is, tell me now. I'm so tired of waiting for you ..