I wish for the whole truth everytime you speak.

I just want you back.
I want your arms around me.
I want your hand to slowly grasp mine.
I want your heart.
I want your silly laugh.
I want your crocked smile.
I want you.




Now.

This time around, we'll fly together.

She's a constant laugher, and it's all his fault.
He's a picky eater, and she's the reason why.
She believed the truth, but he became the liar.
He believed in fairytales, she believed in reality.
She believed in love at first sight, he believed in no such thing.
I believed in you, You didn't know how to believe in me.
I wanted you to fly. I wanted you to soar through all those clouds, and live that life you deserved.
I tried flying, with your wings, but they just weren't working.
I needed my own, and I needed them fast.
Ebay didn't send them soon enough I guess.
Cause, you got to impatient, and so you soared off.
Weeks later, I found you.
Sitting outside my front porch.
You had taken your wings off, and you gestered for me to come sit down.
We chatted for a while, about your journey, and what it was like on the gound.
and you whispered " I don't want to fly, if your still on the ground".
It was then, we realized were in this together.
Forever.

I'm not falling all over again.

Those brown eyes, starring down at me. How could I explain how I was feeling? I couldn't. The emotions went through me like some kind of sickness. I wasn't sure, what, or how to feel. I sat across from you, starring at the tv like it was some kind of hypomiziter, but you were my main attraction. Everything went blurry when I looked at you. That's when the caution sign, began to light up. I had to becareful. I had you, and I lost you. We had fun while it lasted. We always had fun. Just I can't fall for you. Not again at least.

Sweetheart, admit you still want me.

I knew you weren't the most amazing boy, and you weren't the best looking, and sure, you weren't the smartest.You couldn't be more annoying if you tried,but you made me smile like noone else could, and you made me laugh so hard I could barely breathe, let's face it, that wasn't the only thing that left me breathless. That's the truth, you left me breathless, everyday. But, you're gone now. I'm not scared to face that fact anymore. I'm not afraid to live without you. There's someone else now. He may be a little farther then I would like, but he's not to far. Nothing's too far. I can deal with phone lines, of course I want to hold him, of course I want to I want to see him everyday, but just because I can't doesn't mean I'm going to give up on him. You may not see it the way I do. But he's alot of things that I want. He's well differant. He's not you. I'm sorry to say that, but it's true. I constantly fight with you. You constantly make me upset. I constantly fall for you. I constantly hate you. With him, it's differant. We have good talks, we aren't afraid of our feelings. I guess that's the biggest thing with you. I would be completely and utterly inlove with you - if you weren't afraid to realize it.
I know you still are. I know you still care.
Stop running away. Just admit it.
You love me.

I know you're where you need to be, even though it's not here with me.

I know it's been a long time we met. We walked quite a long path me, and you. For years, we laughed, smiled, and cried. Then, all of a sudden you went away. You feel asleep, for a long period of time. Your eyes shut and you were a body that once functioned. I was so clueless about death then. I thought you'd come back. I thought you were tired, and needed a couple days sleep. I realized soon after, I was wrong. You were gone. Gone. Forever. I had to be okay with that. But the thing was, I wasn't. Not at all. You were my papa. My hockey star. My dad. I know where you are is where you should be, but I miss you.
I looked up at the sky and for the first time in my life I saw how beautiful it really was, then I realized it's cause you're up there.
I miss you.

I'll be your safe ride home.

"We just don't care about each other,"I mumbled.

" I do. I care more about you than anyone. You are one of the most important people to me. Just because we aren't together doesn't mean that we don't care anymore." He said with anger in his tone.


You are right when you said that. Just because people aren't together does not mean that can't care. Just because people aren't together anymore doesn't mean they don't love each other. I care more about you than you could ever imagine. If you're crying, I'll cry too. If you're happy, I'm happy too. You control my emotions. It's funny to say, but it's true. If anythings ever wrong, please know I'll come running to help. You are still important to me. That is something I have to admit. I never knew our life would come to this, there's the truth. I thought we would be together, for at least a little longer than it lasted. But, maybe it was suppose to end up like this. One boy - One girl - Sharred a love, then became best friends. Maybe that's how the episode is suppose to end.

I don't know how to fight, but I'll draw blood tonight if somebody tries hurting you.

Have fun, is pretty much all I want to say right now.
Kiss her lips, grab her hips, I don't care anymore. Seriously.
I want to fall inlove, with my perfect dork.
Yeah, I said it. I want the dorkiest boy alive, and you measured up to that. I thought you were the most amazing, cutest dork alive. I loved you because you filled every thought I had of the perfect boy I could fall in love with. I had this whole plan for us, really I did- we would be together for months, fight contstantly, and then run into each other arms after 10 minutes of fighting.We would break up constantly, and then get back together. We would love each other to much to handle. But you ovbiously couldn't realize that. I loved you more than I could ever have known, but I had to let that love go. Because, you want anything, and everything you can get. You had something worth fighting for with me, but I don't think you liked the fighting. It's like you were at war, with no guns. Ovbiously it would die right?
Maybe our love was a war that could never be won, and I'm sorry it had to turn out that way.
Our soliders just couldn't fight this battle, let's get more troops out there.

I believe you're going to be something special.

I guess you could say things never changed between us.
Our feelings never actually faded, now did they?
Well mine didn't, that's for sure.
I still look at you, and fireworks still go off in my stomach.
The fire in your eyes is still there, and it's magical.
It really is, after all this time, I still see that fire.
Our connetion is still there, and I'm so suprised that our chemisty hasn't ended.
Our waves still reach each other, even if our telephone poles are a quite far apart.
I'll glad they still reach, because to be honest I missed you.
I missed our little talks about the past. Our talks about how our dreams would come true. You were the one thing that made me believe, that things can happen, you just have to believe.
You were my believer, and I missed believing in myself.
I'm glad we're back.
I'm glad your back.

Just leave me you're stardust to remember you by.

I guess I never fully believed you would leave.
I never would think you would walk away, and leave everything you have here behind.
But, I guess you might.
The people, the teachers, the school. You'll go away, and all this will be was a memory.
A memory of laughs, cries, fights.
It will all just be one big memory.
I will just be one big memory.
I don't want to be just a memory. I want to be the past, the future, the present.
I don't want you out of my life. Ever.
Your my best friend. Don't you get that?
Without you, there is no me.
Remember our plans? Those won't happen anymore.
I hate to say it, but you'll forget me when you go.
Your a superstar, you know?
Well, you always have been in my eyes.
And I'm sure in everyone else's.
But, you were my superstar.
But, I guess every superstar has 15 minutes of fame, right?
Well, I guess our's is over.
Pack your bags, and come over to my house.
Well run away, and pretend everything's okay.
Well drop stardust to make sure we know the way home.
And, if we get lost.
I'll have the stardust to remember you by.

You're ruining the world, day by day.

You're taking over the world. Little by little.
Before you know it, you'll take everything over, and everything will be gone.
All because of you.
What made you come here? What influenced you? There must be something that caused you to erupt.
I wish I could know. I don't understand you're emotions. You cause things for no reason, and I start to hate you more and more each day. You control my day you know? You control what I wear.You control my emotions. You pretty much control my life, and I wish you didn't. I wish you would just control you're own life, and stop controlling everyone else's. Stop. Go away.
I hate you. Don't you get that?
Everyone does, and we want you to go away. Why won't you listen to us?
Clear the clouds, Let the sun come out.
And, walk away.

Chemicals and gin just aren't my thing.

I guess it just hit me now, that our worlds just didn't collide enough for me to stay around. Our chemical reaction to each other, just wasn't big enough, you know? You live for chemicals, and gin. I live for myself, nothing more. It's always been like that, and I guess for you, it's always been like that. Gin and Chemicals, why do you find pride in stuff like that? It destroys you, dont you realize that? Slowly, but surely you'll depend on those things, and you're life will wash away.You won't take pride in yourself, not like you do these days anyways. You take everything you have and take advantage of it.Education is one thing you don't even care about. It's there for you to learn , for you to understand life better, and make you have a career, and have a good life. Wait, I forgot you don't really care. It doesnt matter at all to you. Nothings matters to you.
Get out of my life, and have fun with yours.

My wings are flapping, but I still don't know how to fly.

It was hard to see our planets slowly drift apart with the atomosphere.
But, we should've noticed our conversations, and our looks.
Everything was slowly fading. We were starting to become strangers who lived in the same world. I've wanted nothing more then to show you how much you mean. How much I want you to realize what your worth? To show you how much of a hero you are to me.
You are a hero, you know? You stopped at the stop light, and realized when the green light glew, you were ready to start driving again. Sometimes you get off cue, I know that. But, everyone makes mistakes. Things can get so messed up sometimes. You taught me more things then I could thank you for. I'm glad that in the past couple days, our atmospheres came together. I sharred everything I've never talked to you about, somethings you were suprised about, other things not so much.
But, you know what? You listened to everything I had to say, and I'm so thankful that I don't have someone to busy to even listen to me. I just wanted to make a brief note to explain to you, you may think I think about everything that has been so messed up in my life, and your all to blame. But, it's nothing like that. I do blame you for what has happened, but it has lead us here, where we are now, in our warm and happy atmoshere. I don't think you understand that without you, I'm scared of the world. You hide behind your drinks, and I hide behind you. You never realized that, but that's how it's always been. A big game of follow the leader, but don't mess yourself up. I know what's good and bad for me, and I'm ready to get out in the big world. I'm going to be ready to spread my wings soon, promise to let me fly?
Get me out of my shell, give me a couple flying lessons, then watch me
fly.
Watch me fly right out of this town, and to where I belong.
I promise you, you did absolutly nothing wrong. You believed in me, and if I had to have anything in the world - hands down it would be you.

I'll remember, promise you will too?

WOW.
It's finally, actually, completely over.
OVER.
That's a word I never fully understood. When do you know things are really over?
I mean, then does everything end?
A part of you stays with your first love until the day you die, right?
Therefor, it's not over until I die. My feelings for you, will fade, and I will get another boy. This boy will be what I want, what I need, someone who won't make me cry all the time. But, I'll always remember my blonde haired lifeguard, who'd always be there for me. I'll always remember the disney channel marathon, and the silly faces I made. I'll remember the girl who my place. I'll remember your silly face, and the way you acted when you had chocolate. I'll remember our first conversation, and how cute you were. I'll remember the smile I loved to see. But most importantly, I'll remember the love you gave me. The love we had. I loved you with all I had in me, and I'm sorry it didn't work out.
But it's over.
and I have to somehow be okay with that.

If anyone asks I'll tell them we both just moved on, knowing it's a lie.

Well, I have to take it into consideration now.
I really have to think about it. Because, it constantly hurts me.
Hearing that girls name, knowing you want to talk to her, not me.
It's how it goes.
I mean, once a story is written, it's written.
You can't just re- write it because you don't like it right?
But, it hurts.
It really hurts.
I just wish I hadn't let go.
I wish we tried a little harder, held on just a little bit longer.
Because we didn't ,I lost you.
But, you still have me.
Right in the palm of your hand, and it's irritating.
If you don't want me there, throw it to the floor, atleast I'll know I tried, right?
Stop playing me like a board game, skip this, buy that.
I'm not a game.
I'm a human being, who just wants you to realize.
She'd do anything to prove to you; she's yours.
Maybe not in reality.
But in her heart, she is.

Do you have a map, cause I'm lost in your eyes.

Blue eyes. Dark skies.
I can't even think about a world without you now. And, being honest here, that scares me more then clowns. You out of everyone know how much clowns scare me. See, I'm scared that without you I won't have anything to look forward to. I go to school to see you're smiling face. I go to school to see you, in science class always looking back at me. I go to school to see someone I love. And I think that's a good enough reason. See, I know I'm not with you anymore, and she's the one on your mind now, but that doesn't matter. I honestly don't care. I can love you with everything I have in me anyways. This girl can't take anything away, really. Except the only thing I want back ; you. I wish I didn't. But, I tried not having you in my life.I tried not speaking to you, and that makes me feel like something's missing. Something big. I hate it. I realized without you in my life, I don't have much. You find something you love, and you keep it close to you. As the saying goes" If you love someone, set them free, if they come back then it's meant to be"
Get a map, find a way.
Find some way to come back to me.
Please.

You and you're stupid little games.

" I do like her. I haven't always. But, there's a part of her, that has always been on my mind" He said with such pride.
" You fucking douche. What the fuck is wrong with you? I gave everything I could for you, and I get this? Thanks. I tried for you. You took two steps backward, I would too, just to make sure we we're going the same pace. I did everything I could. I tried to be what you wanted me to be. I tried to be everything you could have ever wanted. I wasn't enough, and I now know that.You needed something else to make you satified, didn't you? You know what I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry that I didn't measure up to what you fucking wanted. Admit it to me. I was played. Played for the popularity? Played for a girlfriend? I don't know. You said stuff, that I thought was the cutest thing I had ever heard. And, now thinking of itit was all lies. Lies. Everything.
Lies hurt. I wish you understood that. Don't tell a girl things that you don't mean.
Don't lie to my face, and say things you really don't understand at all. Listen.
Don't come crawling back, cause I'll cave.
and I'll end up fucked over again.
All because of you and your games.

I fantasize about everything I do, especially when it comes to you.

I want to live it.
I want us to get to where were suppose to be.
I'm trying to figure out ways to get there, and the maps just aren't helping these days.
I can't drive yet, and even if I could the car isn't turing on.
I can't decide on when or where I want to go.
I don't want to wait.
Waiting is time, and time is everything, as I always say.
By waiting I'm wasting my time being where I could be.
I want to show them that I can be something that they won't believe.
I'm going to show them, and everyone else, that I'll be on that bullentin board.
I'll be on tv, in magazines. I'll be there.
I might only be there for 15 minutes,
But, at least I'll have my 15 minutes of fame.
Fame. That's the real deal here. I want to be noticed for once, you know?
I want to be noticed in a crowd, I want me to photographed. It's not about the money.
I don't care about being rich and famous. I care about showing everyone I could do something and proving all the haters wrong. I've had a messed up life as it is, and by doing this I'll show them that just because you have it rough, doesn't mean that can't go away.
I'll show them.
No, wait We'll show them.
The clocks ticking..
and my brains thinking.
I'll be there soon.
I'm on my way ..

Don't let me stop you from doing what you want to do.

"I can't handle all this faking"
She tried to explain to him. Keyword tried.
He didn't get many things, this was one of the things he really didn't understand.
"It's hard for me to pretend that we don't care.That this doesn't matter. Because we both know it does matter. More then anything"
He just stood there. Acting completely clueless about what I had just mentioned.
I love him, and that's the big probem here. I don't want to. I hate it to be honest. I can't barely stand you. You annoy the hell out of me. You always make me smile, no matter what happens. You know exactly what to do, so that I can't stay mad at you for to long. I mean, it's arragravating, non the less confusing. Everyday I hate you more and more, yet everyday I realize I'm falling in love with you. And, I don't understand it all.
I don't understand what I see in you, or why I need you so much for my life to be complete?
Now, you might be thinking I'm writing about a boy, I'm in love with and I just want to be with him. Sure, that could be the case, because I am in love with a boy. But it's differant. The meaning of this is alot differant. I'm sick of striving for something that I can't get. That other people get noticed for, but I don't, you know?
It's just hard being in a world that you're never going to be good enough.
I know I could, if I believed. But it's so hard when noone believes with me.